“Though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved”
The full verse · 2 Corinthians 12:15 · KJV
will very be ; the more I , the I be .
Asked by
Paul: the apostle writing to the church at Corinth, ready to come a third time and care for them like a parent (2 Corinthians 12:14)
Asked to
Corinthians: the church at Corinth, whom Paul compares to children for whom parents lay up (2 Corinthians 12:14)
The Scene
Paul has announced his third visit and said, "I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children" (2 Corinthians 12:14).
Why It Was Asked
The purpose behind the questionLike a parent, Paul is ready to give everything for the Corinthians. Then he names the pain: the more he loves them, the less they seem to love him back. In the KJV this is a statement, not a question, and Gill reads it the same way, as Paul's sad observation that "they grew colder and more indifferent to him." Barnes reads it as a gentle reproof. The ESV and some Greek editions print it as a question, "If I love you more, am I to be loved less?" Either way, the words press the Corinthians to see the imbalance and to answer his love.
The Response
What Scripture recordsPaul does not wait for their reply. He goes on to answer a charge, that "being crafty, I caught you with guile" (2 Corinthians 12:16), and asks whether he or Titus ever made a gain of them (2 Corinthians 12:17-18). He ends, "we do all things, dearly beloved, for your edifying" (2 Corinthians 12:19). His love does not depend on being loved back.
Historical Context
The world behind the words"Spend and be spent" translates two related Greek verbs, dapanēsō and ekdapanēthēsomai: to spend, and to be completely spent. Barnes paraphrases Paul: "I am willing to spend my strength, and time, and life," and to "Be exhausted and worn out in my labors." The Textus Receptus, the Greek text behind the KJV, reads "ei kai perissoterōs hymas agapōn," "even though loving you more," with no question mark. The Westcott-Hort and Nestle editions read "ei perissoterōs hymas agapō" and end the sentence with a question mark, which is why the ESV makes it a question.
The Bigger Picture
Where this fits in God's storyPaul's love looks like a parent's love. Parents "lay up" for children, not the other way around (2 Corinthians 12:14). That kind of love gives first and does not wait to be repaid. Barnes draws the lesson that we should be willing to labor for the good of others "even when they evince great ingratitude." Gill says their coldness would be no discouragement to Paul in serving them.
Paul does not pretend the lack of love does not hurt. He names it. But naming the hurt does not stop him from giving. Matthew Henry makes the same point: when others fail in their duty to us, that does not free us from our duty to them.
Look Closer
What drives Paul's willingness to "spend and be spent"?
Carry the question into prayer and conversation.
Lord, where am I holding back love until it is returned, and what would it look like to give anyway?
A prayer to carry into the day.
- When your love is not returned, what do you tend to do: pull back, push harder, or keep giving? Why?
- Tell about someone who kept loving you when you were not loving them well.
For you, a small group, a friend, or the dinner table.
Love that keeps score runs out. Paul gave to the Corinthians the way a parent gives to a child, gladly and without waiting for repayment. When someone you love seems to love you less, you can keep giving "very gladly," because your love is not a trade.
This does not mean pretending you are not hurt. Paul named the imbalance honestly. And it does not mean ignoring wrong: in the same chapter Paul warns the Corinthians about sin he fears to find when he comes (2 Corinthians 12:20-21). Love can be both generous and honest.
Built from the biblical text and checked against trusted commentaries and lexicons. References & Sources
Keep questioning
“Wherefore? Because I love you not?”
“For what is it wherein ye were inferior to other churches, except it be that I myself was not burdensome to you?”
“Did I make a gain of you by any of them whom I sent unto you?”
“Did Titus make a gain of you? Walked we not in the same spirit? Walked we not in the same steps?”