“Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us?”
The full verse · Luke 2:48 · KJV
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Asked by
Mary: the mother of Jesus, who with Joseph had sought her twelve-year-old son until "after three days they found him in the temple" (Luke 2:42-46)
The Scene
After the Passover in Jerusalem, Mary and Joseph travel a day toward home before missing Jesus; "after three days they found him in the temple," among the teachers (Luke 2:41-46).
Why It Was Asked
The purpose behind the questionMary spoke out of a mother's sorrow. She and Joseph had looked for their son, first "among their kinsfolk and acquaintance," then back in Jerusalem, and only "after three days they found him" (Luke 2:44-46). She tells Him plainly how it felt: "thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing." Barnes describes the sorrow as being "Anxious, lest in the multitude he might not be found, or lest some accident might have happened." Barnes paraphrases her question as "Why hast thou given us all this trouble and anxiety." Gill says she spoke "with great tenderness of affection, and in much mildness." It was a mother's honest question, not an accusation.
The Response
What Scripture recordsJesus answered with two questions of His own: "How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" (Luke 2:49). Mary had said "thy father"; Jesus spoke of "my Father." Mary and Joseph "understood not the saying which he spake unto them" (Luke 2:50). Even so, Jesus "went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them," and "his mother kept all these sayings in her heart" (Luke 2:51).
Historical Context
The world behind the wordsJesus' parents "went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover" (Luke 2:41). The Law required the men of Israel to appear before the LORD three times a year, including at the feast of unleavened bread (Deuteronomy 16:16). Mary and Joseph traveled home in a "company" that included "kinsfolk and acquaintance" (Luke 2:44), which is why Mary and Joseph could go a whole day supposing Jesus was among them. When Mary says "thy father," she means Joseph. Barnes explains that Joseph "was not the real father of Jesus, but he was legally so," and Gill says he was called so because "he was supposed to be so, and was his father by the law of marriage." Luke later describes Jesus as "(as was supposed) the son of Joseph" (Luke 3:23).
The Bigger Picture
Where this fits in God's storyMary's question is the first time in Luke's Gospel that anyone questions Jesus, and His answer holds His first recorded words. It reveals that even at twelve He knew who His Father was (Luke 2:49).
The scene also shows the tender humanity of Jesus' family. Mary was a faithful mother who did not yet understand everything about her Son. Luke does not hide her distress or her confusion (Luke 2:48, 50). Jesus, for His part, returned home and "was subject unto them" (Luke 2:51). His devotion to His Father did not make Him disrespectful to His mother.
Look Closer
Why did Mary and Joseph travel a day without noticing Jesus was missing?
Carry the question into prayer and conversation.
Lord, when I cannot understand what You are doing, what do You want me to keep and ponder in my heart?
A prayer to carry into the day.
- Mary brought her real feelings to Jesus. What keeps you from telling Him honestly how you feel?
- Tell about a time when you were anxious, looking for answers, and later found that God had been in control all along.
For you, a small group, a friend, or the dinner table.
Mary's question gives you permission to be honest with Jesus. She did not hide her fear or pretend to be calm. She said, "thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing" (Luke 2:48).
Her example also shows what to do when His answer is hard to understand. Mary did not understand, but she "kept all these sayings in her heart" (Luke 2:51). You can hold on to what Jesus says even before it makes sense, and let time and Scripture show you more.
This does not mean Jesus was careless with His parents' feelings. He went home with them and "was subject unto them" (Luke 2:51).
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